Poisoned Heart
by StarryRavenFire
Summary: [Complete] When Raven gets poisoned Robin goes off looking for someone who can save her. Starfire tells us the story and how she tries fighting with the human feeling called 'Jealousy'. Pls RR.
1. Chapter 1

4 April 2005

**A/N: **I'm back with another Teen Titans fic! It took me a while to finish this chapter and well I wasn't sure of posting it but a friend of mine said I should. So thank **Mint Pizza Queen** hehe.

This is the first Teen Titan fic that I do in someones Point of View. To me it's a little bit difficult and well I just hope I did a fairly good job and if not then I apologize. I do hope you guys enjoy this fic!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Starfire or any other Teen Titan.

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"Robin! Raven got shot with a dart and she is now unconscious!"

"Beast Boy get her out of here now!"

"I can't! Have Star take her to the tower!"

"Starfire, take Raven to the tower and put her in the medical wing. Go Star!"

When Robin yelled that command to me I had just been done throwing starbolt's at our newest enemy, Dr. Dart. I quickly flew to where my friend Raven was laying on the floor, she looked to be dead and I quickly picked her up and flew through the hole that Cyborg had made on the roof. As I flew to our home I kept looking down at my best friend to see if she was waking up, but I felt my heart heavy with burden, as there was no movement coming from her. Arriving at the tower I typed the code and rapidly flew towards the Medical Wing of the Tower. I gently laid her down on the white mattress and began to hook her up to the monitor and IV tube, friend Cyborg had taught me this once when Robin had been hurt very bad after a battle with Slade.

"Please friend you must wake up," I said softly to her. Then I heard it, a beat from the monitor indicating she had a heart beat. I felt joy overwhelm me and I held back the urge to hug her and say "Oh friend! You are alive! Let us rejoice" because she still hadn't woken up. I stayed with her until the rest of my friends came home, studying their faces I knew that we were victorious.

"Star is she alright?" asked a frantic Beast Boy who was now holding her cold hand. I didn't know what to say so I just said, "She has a heart beat but she has not woken up."

I saw how his shoulders slumped a little and he turned and looked at her with worried eyes. Robin was standing beside me and he too was looking at her with a concerned expression on his face. Cyborg was busy trying to read the monitor and doing other things to Raven, and I just stood there watching my four friends in the Medical Room.

"The dart that shot her contained some kind of plant poison, I can't find anything on this poison because I don't know from what plant it comes from. I am no plant expert but I do know that we need to do something because, even though the poison is working slow in a few months we could lose her." Cyborg said as his expression showed fear and sadness at the same time.

I looked over at Beast Boy and saw his face go into a shocked expression before leaning down and placing a kiss on her forehead. At that moment I felt useless for the fact that I did not know what they were talking about. I just stood there staring at them like those dolls in the mall of shopping, staring at the people buy from their stores.

"I know someone who has a lot of knowledge about plants." He paused and I saw his jaw tighten before speaking again. "Cyborg put the dart in a plastic bag and have it ready for me, I am going to look for this person. I will return with this person in the morning."

I saw him walk out the Medical Room and with one quick glance at Raven I turned and ran after him. When I reached him he was in his room testing his utility belt again, he always did that right before going out. I walked into his dark room and stopped midway.

"Robin, where is this person you are going to bring back?" I asked with curiosity hinting in every word. There was a reason in me asking this question, I have always felt an attraction to him. Always. I did not want him to know of course, this was for me only and no one else to know. I wanted to go with him, help out some way in the cure of friend Raven.

"Sorry Starfire but I don't have time to be talking right now, when I come back I will explain where I went to _everyone_." He said in his normal voice tone, but I was not dumb I could hear a hint of 'annoyance'. I knew he did not want me to ask him questions at this moment, perhaps he was like this because he wanted to save Raven as well. I did not say anything else and before I annoyed him any more I quietly left when he was reading a paper that he had printed out from the device called 'the computer'.

As I walked to my room I felt sad at the thought of annoying Robin, I did not think I would ever do that to anyone. Well besides friend Raven, but not Robin. Perhaps my questions about this planet and their weird customs had finally got to him. I did not know. I entered my room and flew towards my bed after I heard my door slide and lock itself. I laid on my bed the rest of the night, I did not get up to say goodbye to Robin when I heard the main doors open nor did I go to dinner.

I woke up to a pounding on my door and I quickly got up and flew over to it and opened it. It was friend Beast Boy who immediately pulled me out of my room and into the Common Room. Friend Cyborg was standing in the middle just staring at the door as if waiting for something. Then as we made our way towards him I remembered who he was waiting for, Robin.

"Friends please explain why we are standing here staring at the door?" I still asked even though I knew why we were there. Both of them turned around and gave me small smiles and then Beast Boy answered my question.

"Robin reported and said that he will be here anytime now with the person who will save Raven! And well we just want to see who will be the savior to thank him or her ahead of time." His voice was filled with excitement and happiness because friend Raven was going to be saved.

I nodded and quickly turned towards the door when we heard the main doors open and the elevator making it's way up to our floor. At that moment I felt my heart begin beating as I had not seen Robin since yesterday and I wanted to see him. The door opened and in walked Robin and beside him was another girl. My heart quickly slowed down and I felt my stomach start to hurt, typical Tamaranian feeling when one was disappointed.

"What? Robin are you out of your mind! Is this some kind of joke? You brought _her_ to save Raven?" Cyborg had wide eyes and was now shouting at Robin. Then I turned to look at Beast Boy who was yelling as well.

"Dude! What the heck? Don't tell me that _she_ was the one you had in mind! I won't be letting her touch Raven!" Beast Boy cried to Robin in a very angry tone.

Standing there I just stared at what was going on, I did not know who this woman was or why my friends were very disturbed at this. To answer the question that was now running around my mind I decided to ask it.

"Please Friends, why are you reacting like this to Raven's savior and who is she?" I tried to smooth out my tone as to not show any hint of that feeling humans call 'jealousy'.

"She is Poison Ivy Star and she has a lot of knowledge on plants, but she is also a really dangerous villain. That's why we are asking Robin what the hell he is thinking in bringing her to help save Raven!" Beast Boy said with anger in his voice.

I moved my gaze from Beast Boy to the girl beside Robin, she had orangey-red hair that went to her mid-back she was wearing a green dress (to me it looked like leaves all glued together) and her shoes where those nice shoes that women wear to restaurants and dances. I could see that she had those 'curves' that men from Earth called 'Hot' and her chest was about the same size as me. She did not look frightened at all she looked like she was enjoying all the attention.

"Robin is this true about this girl being a dangerous villain?" I asked him. I regretted asking that question for he immediately began to yell.

"Look I know she is a villain but she promised that she would do everything she could to save Raven! She is our only hope now!"

"DUDE HOW CAN WE TRUST HER?" Friend Beast Boy yelled back. I could tell that he wanted to jump on Robin and do what humans say, "Beat his ass up".

I quickly walked over to Beast Boy and placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him from jumping up. He turned and glared at me but then it softened when he saw it was just me. I knew that he didn't want any bad person touching his dear Raven, I wouldn't let anyone that has had a bad history touch Robin if he were the one in that bed dying.

"Because if I do this and I do it well then my sentence will be cut to only five years, now Little Elf if you want me to save your _girlfriend_ shut your mouth and lead me to her." I turned to look at her and from the corner of my eye I could see friend Beast Boy clenching his jaw. I continued to stare at her and then at Robin who had a weird smile on his face. Was he pleased that this woman was, how humans say, telling Beast Boy off?

"That's enough, Pamela is here to help us and if you guys keep disrespecting her then I won't stop her if she decides to leave."

When I heard Robin say her first name with such trust I knew that something bad was coming. Not for any of my friends, oh no, but for me. Was there a past to them that I did not know of? Perhaps there was, perhaps she was just like Batgirl, his ex girlfriend. Not wanting to feel sad I pushed the thought away and just stared as Robin took this 'Poisoned' girl to friend Raven.

"Dude, he has gone out of his mind in bringing her here! She is evil I mean hello her name? POISON IVY… doesn't that ring a bell… Poison! It has EVIL written all over it… oh and Raven is not, I repeat! Not my girlfriend… um… I am just worried about her…" Friend Beast Boy said after Robin and Pamela had left.

"I know BB but she is the only one that has a lot and I mean A LOT of knowledge on plants. As much as I hate to say it but… well we really need her." Friend Cyborg replied to Beast Boy who was now standing with his mouth open.

"Please friends, we must not scare her away, I agree with Cyborg we _do_ need her. Raven _needs_ her. Now if you will excuse me, I shall see if _they_ need my assistance." I said with a bit of a quiver at the end of my sentence. I knew that a part of me wanted to go only to be beside Robin and just see who she was and the other part was indeed to see if they needed my assistance, which I highly doubted.

I quietly flew towards the door and carefully looked through the window. I saw her standing beside Raven touching her hand and reading some squiggly lines from the monitor. I moved my gaze to Robin who stood on the other side of the bed staring at Pamela. Was he staring at her to see that she would do no harm to friend Raven or was it because he had feelings for her? I quickly pushed the thought of Robin liking a bad girl and concentrated on them once more. Robin was now standing beside her and she was saying something that I could barely listen to clearly.

"… She… Eucolispha… very poisonous… hardly… survives it…" I heard her say. I decided to stop hovering around the door and just stand. I put my ear on the door hoping that I could hear what Robin was going to say next. I should have remembered that my friends were not inside the Medical Room but my feelings were not letting me think clearly.

"Yo Star… what are you doing?"

"Eep!"

I had not been expecting anyone to be behind me and that frightened me, which made me fall through the door and into the Medical Room. I did not wish to open my eyes for I was very embarrassed at what had just happened. Clearly Robin was now thinking of what an idiot I was for doing that, and his friend! Oh no she would probably be laughing at me. I shut my green eyes tighter and just hoped that they would forget about me and just move on to Raven once more. But I was wrong… I felt myself being lifted up by two strong arms and I was set on the floor with my two feet flat on the ground. I felt so embarrassed and I knew I looked like that sweet red fruit.

"Starfire, are you alright? Starfire?" I knew it was Robin who had lifted me up and at that moment my heart was doing very high jumps. I did not want to look at his face for I knew he would ask me what I was doing at the door. I also noticed that I had not yet answered his question of my well being. Without looking up I answered him with a shaky tone.

"Yes friend, I am alright. I must be going now… I have left some things unattended in my room." After I said that I did not wait for him to speak any more for I flew out and into my room.

I locked my door and I flew to my bed and threw myself on top of it. I did not want to go back outside to face Robin or anyone else. I knew they would be wondering what I was doing 'eavesdropping' on Robin and that poisoned woman. I did not feel like answering their questions and my stomach was hurting like a Jumborg! I closed my eyes and decided that a short nap would be nice.

I woke up due to the fact that someone was knocking on my door. I had forgotten about the events that had happened earlier and I got up and opened the door. Soon the memories rushed back to my Tamaranian brain and I felt my blood freeze at the sight of who it was.

"Hi Sweetheart, I was just wondering if you had…" She paused and then looked around before continuing. "Well do you have… feminine products? I guess I forgot to pack some before we left Gotham." She blushed afterwards and then put on a small smile.

I felt a bit of anger towards her but my Tamaranian custom of being nice kicked in and I returned the small smile and bid her to come in. I studied her as she made her way in and I noticed that she was a beautiful girl. She was the 'hot' type and she probably had all earthly men after her. She walked to my bed where she sat down and awaited for me to give her these feminine products. I then walked to my bathroom and got out an orange box and handed it to her.

"I do hope that these are the ones that you like, if not I apologize for I do not have any other kind. Perhaps friend Raven might have some but since she is unconscious I do not think you will be able to have some." I told her as her smile lit up when she opened it. I was guessing those were the ones she had been wanting.

"Oh no it's alright, these are just perfect…" She said before getting up and walking to the door. Before going out of my room she turned around and said, "Thanks" and then left.

I stood there staring at the open door. Had I just helped a villain? Well it wasn't in any bad way, it was in a feminine way. She needed that and well I think she would have helped me as well if I were the one to have been in that situation. My thoughts soon got interrupted as Robin entered my room and stopped in front of me.

"Star are you alright?" He asked me with a soft voice.

I stared at him with wide eyes and my stomach hurting more than ever. What was I going to tell him? Was I to confess my love for him right there! I breathed in and managed a smile before speaking.

"Yes I am alright. Why are you asking _friend_?" I noticed that my voice shook a bit when I said the word friend. I swung my arms behind me and began to do what humans do I crossed my fingers. I do not know why I did that but it was just comforting to do. I thanked the moons of Tamaran for him not noticing my actions.

"Robin! I found you. Where will I be spending the night?"

Was she not in my room a few seconds ago? Why does Robin look like he just won a Gendor Jewel?

"Oh yeah, um… I don't know if the Guest Room is clean. If it isn't then you can sleep in Raven's room."

WHAT? Friend Raven would never allow that. Never! What is Robin thinking? Has he gone mad? I cannot let this woman stay in Raven's room.

"The Guest Room is clean, besides I do not think that Raven would like for _anyone_ to reside in her room while she is away." I said this with a bit of anger. Why did he say that? That clearly left my mind when Robin spoke.

"Oh yeah… Raven doesn't like anyone going into her room… I forgot… but the Guest Room is clean. You are going to sleep there. I'll take you there if you want, then I can take you around the tower for a small tour."

"Alright, but it has to be quick because I need to get back in the lab to do more studies."

"Well Starfire see you later," he said.

"Very well Robin and Poi- err Pamela, I shall see you later."

I did not go into my room after we said our goodbyes. I continued staring at them until they disappeared around the corner. I felt like if Tamaran had exploded and all my people were gone. Robin had indeed forgotten to answer my question of well-being. That woman… that Poison Ivy had surely poisoned his mind! I took a few steps back and let my door slide close. I stood staring at the steel covering my door and I felt my heart hurting more than my stomach.

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**A/N: **How was it? Was it good? Did it suck? If you have any Questions or Comments please ask/say in the review! If you are confused I will try my best in the second chapter to clear them up for you! Thanks! Please Review!


	2. Chapter 2

11th of May 2005

**Word from Starry: **Hello everyone! I am back on this day with a new chapter for this fic! I apologize for making you wait -oh and also for not updating my other stories, for those of you waiting- but well I had a death in the family and I just couldn't get myself to really write and stuff. Of course I am now starting to work on the fics once more and hopefully I'll update before I graduate! Which is in June 23rd.

To me writing in first person POV is difficult and I hope I didn't screw it up or sucked in this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Starfire or any other Teen Titan or anything that has to do with their world.

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"Come on Star! You need to get out more!" 

I stared at the door and decided to ignore friend Beast Boy who was on the other side of it. I did not wish to go out and participate with them in eating pizza. Well not as long as friend Raven was unconscious and that poisoned woman was there.

Two months had already passed and Raven was still the same… well a bit better and well we have to thank Poison Ivy, also known as Pamela, for that. She had inhabited our tower for two whole months now and Robin is enjoying this. For two whole months I would go to bed early and spend time talking to Raven when Pamela and Robin went out to eat.

I felt like a bird without the knowledge of flight, like a Bungorf without his Ginorfka's love in a sunny day. I would tell Raven how my heart would ache more and more every passing day due to the fact that Robin was no longer spending time with me. Pamela was his goal now, Pamela this or Pamela that were the only words that came out of his soft lips.

Silence. I sighed and felt relieved that friend Beast Boy had left my door. I was wrong.

"Starfire! Come out! I haven't seen you lately! Come on Star!"

I turned away from the door slowly and just hugged my soft pillow tighter. Why wouldn't he go away? Clearly the message I was trying to get through to him (that I was sleeping) should have gotten to him. When his knocking did not cease I got up and walked to the door to yell at him and tell him the bad word humans say 'leave me the fuck alone' or something like that when I heard another voice.

"Beast Boy! If she doesn't answer you after the millionth time of knocking and yelling it means two things… she's either sleeping or she's not there."

My heart felt oh so joyous at the sound of Robin's voice! I wanted to rip the door open, of course that would have been easy because of my Tamaranian powers, but I decided to just listen.

"Wow it's Robin! You know if you would pay attention you would see that Starfire hardly comes out of her room!" He paused and I placed my ear over the cold door in order to hear more. "Or wait… no since you are too busy with-"

"Beast Boy! Stop this nonsense talk! I won't let you talk to me like that. I am your leader and as your leader I ask you not to talk to me like that. I do notice and Starfire is ok, she is probably out because if she were sleeping you would have already woken her up with all your yelling."

My eyes widened and I felt my stomach hurting for Beast Boy. By the silence I knew that friend Beast Boy was glaring at Robin and with the 'swish' noise I knew that Robin had left. At that moment I opened my door and saw a very angry Beast Boy.

"Friend, I am sorry for not opening the door but I was not feeling well. If you wish to come in you may," I knew that if I did not hug him my stomach pain was going to get worse. I hugged him and he was as hard as a garfn. "I am sorry friend! I apologize I did not mean for Robin to act like that to you."

I felt him soften up a bit and then gently he stepped back and said, "No it's ok Star don't worry about it. Robin is just being a jerk… he needs to get a good ass whooping." He chuckled. "Anyways Cyborg and me are worried about you. We haven't seen you around for a long while and well Cyborg asked me to come and check up on you."

I heard the sincere ness in his voice and I smiled a bit. Oh he truly is a good friend! The moons of Tamaran would probably tell him a good future for being such a good friend.

"Oh I see. Well you can tell friend Cyborg that I am doing all right. I am just tired and well with friend Raven in a coma I am saddened and have no one to have 'girl talk'. That is why I am in my room most of the time. Please come in, I do not wish for Robin to find us here in the hallway." I said while grabbing his hand and pulling him into my room and closing the door after he was in.

He turned around and sighed before walking over to my bed and sitting down. I knew he was sad for our friend Raven and I also knew that he had those feelings for her. I smiled and then remembered Robin and I felt my stomach pain come back as Pamela came into my mind.

"Star? Err… I think the door is already closed…"

I looked to where he was looking and said "Oh!" as I noticed that I had made a bent in my door. Jealousy was at fault here! I stepped back, turned around and went to sit with friend Beast Boy.

"How is Raven doing? I pray to the moons of Tamaran that she is doing better." I said right after I sat down on my purple circular bed. I did not want him to ask me why I had done that to the door. That subject made me nervous and angry.

"Well Cyborg says that the charts are saying that she is doing better. I guess Poison Ivy is doing her job well." I tightened and clenched my hand while I gritted my teeth. "She says that once she finds the cure for the poison, Raven will wake up and she'll be ok."

"Will she leave then? When Raven is well… will that poisoned woman leave?"

It was already too late before I noticed that I had said it too loud. I immediately jumped off my bed and flew to my dresser where I began to fiddle with my blue hairbrush. I silently began to say those bad words at my self and wished that he had not heard me ask that oh so stupid question! Of course I knew that he had heard them and was probably going to ask me why I was asking this.

"Yeah she will leave when Raven gets better." I heard him say with a cheerful voice. I felt the pain in my stomach grow less and I bit my lip in order to keep me from screaming up to the moons of Tamaran for thanks.

"Star I know I shouldn't be asking this because… well because it isn't my business but… well do you really want Poison Ivy to leave?"

I slowly turned towards him and felt my cheeks grow very hot at this question. Surely I could not just tell him my feelings for Robin at this moment! Or could I? Could I share my deepest secret with him and have him help me get closer to Robin? No he would probably just laugh at me and then say 'Oh Star you silly girl! That is such a stupid crush!' No… friend Beast Boy would never say that… could he?

"Yes! I mean no… I do not know friend. You see I wish for friend Raven to get better but at the same time I…" Should I tell him? Oh Starfire yes he should know! He could probably help you! "I… well a part of me does want her to leave since she is a villain and I do not wish any harm upon my friends."

Way to go Starfire! You did not tell him… It is better if he does not know, less embarrassment for me. I know it is better if it is I and Raven with this knowledge. I looked up at him again and saw that he believed what I had said this made me smile inside. I did feel bad for lying to my friend but I just did not want to share my feelings with everyone, not yet.

"What about you friend? Do you wish to have Pamela out of our lives?" I asked him clearly hoping that he would say yes. Of course what he said did not really surprise me.

"No I don't… I mean she's the only one that can save Raven and well I want her to stay until Raven wakes up. Then she can leave… after I thank her of course."

I nodded slowly before turning away from him and taking interest into my carpet. It was still clean after all this time in living with the Titans. I always flew around that is why it wasn't really dirty.

I began to wonder what Robin was doing and then Pamela popped into my head. I knew he and that 'poisoned' woman were probably together enjoying some ice cream or something sweet. I forgot about Beast Boy being in the room and I let out a scream and decided to just beat up my bed.

Clearly my friend was frightened and concerned for he jumped off my bed and ran to my side where he hugged me and began to ask me what was wrong.

"Star! Star! What's wrong? What's happening?" I heard him shout at me. I heard the fear in his voice.

I immediately stopped and prayed the moons of Tamaran that he would not run out and tell Robin about this stage of mine. In Tamaran this is normal when one is jealous but here in Earth they are strange and people look at you and call you 'crazy' when they see these actions. I turned and faced my friend and stared deep into his eyes.

"Please forgive me friend but I… I…" Could I possibly tell him my feelings for Robin? No! I have already decided that no one will know! "I am just tired… that is all friend. I do apologize for my actions and wish you would not mention it to anyone… please friend I am truly sorry." I said.

I felt my voice shake a bit and knew that if he did not leave soon he was going to see small rivers running down my cheeks. What has gotten into me?

_Jealousy_.

"No Star, it's ok. I know you're tired so I'll just leave you here to rest. I won't tell anyone about this ok? Just promise me you'll call me if you need anything ok?"

Who knew that friend Beast Boy was now being serious to me? Oh if friend Raven were here to see this she would probably make my bed explode!

"Alright friend… goodbye."

I saw him smile and then nod before walking out of my sliding doors.

I sighed and felt relieved in being alone once more. I threw myself on my bed and just stared at my pillow. Could the grabbing of the pillow and screaming into it work? I looked up at my ceiling and just shrugged before placing my head on the pillow.

It felt very good to have screamed in that pillow for three hours straight! Of course now my voice is shaky and it breaks when I try to talk. But the feeling is so joyous! I feel as if a rock has been lifted off me. Thank the moons of Tamaran for these Earth customs!

I smiled at no one and turned to see my clock that said it was 7:37 in the afternoon. I realized that I had not gone to see Raven the whole day. I quickly got up and flew out my door when it slid open, I did not slow my flight for I did not want to see Robin or Pamela. I knew Pamela got out of the lab at 7:00pm and did not go back until 9:00pm. Why you ask? Well because she was out with Robin.

Oh how my stomach began hurting at that thought and I felt the want to go back into my room and just beat my purple bed. I finally arrived to Raven in the Medical Wing, slowly I opened the door and stepped inside the white room.

Friend Raven looked like she was sleeping and I felt a tug of sadness in my heart, she looked the same as the day that I had brought her here. I walked closer to the bed and sat down in the small blue sofa beside the bed and held her hand.

"Oh friend I wish you were well! I cannot stand this Pamela that is staying here at our home. She has done nothing against me but… well… I have feelings for… for Robin, and this Pamela seems to be taking him away from me. She is always around him and he is around her as well. They go out to eat together and they play those games… what do you Earth people call them? Oh yes! They do these 'flirting games', which I do not like. Oh friend I miss you! Please come back to us… Beast Boy he has changed without you…"

I paused for a noise outside the door got my attention. Could it be Beast Boy listening to what I am going to tell her of him? With one look at Raven I sent my attention back on the door and slowly got up. I quietly flew to the door and very carefully looked through the small window in the door. What I saw made me wish I had not looked.

There a few feet from the Medical Wing's door was Robin and Pamela kissing! Oh moons of Tamaran please send your rays of death and take my unloved spirit out now! My stomach began to hurt like a numil fire had just gone off. I felt the drops of water slide down my cheeks and my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to jump out of my body and die at their feet.

What could I do? How can I get out of here? I must get out before they see me like this! Oh Amaryllis Goddess of Love please have mercy on me and let them go away so that I can hide myself in my room! Please!

I closed my eyes very tight and when I opened them I silently thanked Amaryllis and quickly flew straight to my room. I felt sad for I did not even say goodbye to friend Raven, but she would understand.

When I heard the low noise my door always makes when it closes I stopped my ability of flight and I helplessly fell to the floor where I began to cry and silently scream for Geuna Goddess of Death to come and claim my spirit as hers!

The pain I was feeling was so big that I felt like if the only relief was to just explode or throw myself out of my window. Why was my heart beating like crazy? Is it a typical Tamaranian feeling when one has had their heart broken? I turned away from the window and faced the floor and continued to cry. I silently told myself that I was not to come out of my room until friend Raven got well.

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**Starry: **So how was it? Hopefully it didn't suck! I think it was an ok chapter. 

I am planning to make this story 5 chapters long... so it's not really a long story.

Thanks to all my reviewers who reviewed and I hope they like this chapter! Please review and tell me what you thought of it or if you have any questions! Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

12 July 2005

**A word from Starry:** Hello out there! -waves- I hope you guys aren't mad at me for not updating soon but well school had me busy and other stuff too. I'm out of High School for good! That's sad though... anyways as I said before I'm hoping this story to be only **5** chapters long.

Ok in this chapter I refer a little bit to the movie "**Batman and Robin**" so yeah. To those of you who haven't seen it: I suggest you do. Anyways I guess this isa spoiler for both the movie and my story? I don't know but in the movie there is a scene where Poison Ivy kisses Robin, and you all know that Poison Ivy's kisses kill whoever she kisses right? But in the movie Robin is wearing some plastic stuff on his lips so he doesn't get poisoned. That's what I refer a bit to so yeah.

Oh I also hint a bit of Terra/Slade in this Chappie. Not a lot but please don't be like "Eww it's gross he's a pedophile and blah blah blah" because it's my fanfiction and well yeah...

Enough talking and now to the story! Hope you guys enjoyed it! Oh and thank **MintPizzaQueen** for telling me to post this up today. hehe

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Starfire or anything Teen Titans.

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Life in my room is very boring. I mean very boring. The only things I would do is just lie on my purple bed and stare at the ceiling. Very boring indeed, but there was nothing I could do. Robin was happy with that poisoned woman and I was in here, hoping that Geuna Goddess of Death would take me.

"Starfire?"

Oh dear, it is friend Cyborg once more. He has been coming over to visit me for the last month, ever since I saw my dear Robin kissing with Pamela. He does not know of them kissing and neither does friend Beast Boy.

"Starfire you need to come out! Come on girl, let me in if you don't want to come out. We really miss having you out with us."

His voice sounded so sincere and I just wanted to get up and open the door, but what if Robin was there with him? Or even worse Pamela!

I should have remembered that friend Cyborg could open any door inside our home. When I heard my door open I jumped up and looked at my friend standing there with a worried look upon his face. My stomach began to hurt once more.

After closing my door he sat beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him and he spoke.

"Star, why are you doing this and what's wrong?" he asked with a very concerned expression.

I couldn't tell him even though I wanted to. This is friend Cyborg! Surely he has gone through what I'm going through right? Oh no he has not!

"Well… I… Oh friend I do not know I have not been feeling well lately. You see in my home planet this is the time of year where we lock ourselves in our rooms and sleep." I looked down at my carpet and hoped he had believed what I just said.

"Right Star… and why is it that you didn't do this last year? Or the years before that?"

Oh Geuna please come and get me now!

"Answer me Star. Why didn't you do it in the previous years?" he asked once more, this time a bit firmer. I was getting how humans say 'freaking out'.

"W-w-well because it is only every hundred years that this happens. It is a very rare celebration and when we do celebrate it we must mean it with all of our hearts."

I do not know if he believed me for he got up and stared at me oddly.

"Very well Star if you say so, but please when your celebration thingy is over, can you come out and join us again like old times?"

"Oh but friend, it will never be like old times… because friend Raven will not be there…"

He moved his eyes away from me and I quickly walked to him (for my ability to fly was not working due to that horrible kiss and the state I was in at the moment) and hugged him.

"Thank you friend for caring about me so much."

"You're like a sister to me, so of course I'll care." He smiled and then planted a small kiss on my forehead.

After friend Cyborg left I locked my door once more and just looked at my bed and the thought of Robin and Pamela kissing continued torturing me. My stomach felt like a million rocks were now in there and making it heavy with burden, I was surprised that I had not made a hole on the floor.

I was about to lie down on my purple bed when I heard a knock at my door. I groaned and stiffened up at the same time. Who could it be this time? Robin?

"W-w-who is it?" I said in a small child's voice.

"It's me Star, Beast Boy."

Why could they not leave me in peace and go on with their lives? I cried in my mind. Instead of screaming to leave me alone I walked to the door and opened it to let him in.

"Please friend, come in."

As he walked in he looked at me with the same look that friend Cyborg had given me. I closed the door and locked it again. I did not want Robin or Pamela walking in on us while talking, the moons of Tamaran knew how I would get if they were to come in.

"Star… this is not a celebration you are doing for your people. This is something else… this has something to do with Poison Ivy and Robin."

I felt myself becoming short of breath and felt my stomach give me tiny bolts of pain.

"Friend why do you say that? Of course it has nothing to do with Pamela," I felt like Amaryllis Goddess of Love was shaking her head and my heart was hurting when saying her name. "Or Robin..."

Beast Boy chuckled and I felt a bit offended. I shall not tolerate any kind of laughter at me!

"Friend! I do not appreciate you laughing at me! This is no time to make fun of my heartbreak! I would not laugh at you if you were to find Raven kissing with Aqualad!"

Oh Starfire! You just told him that you are going through heartbreak! Oh Geuna Goddess of Death please take me now!

"No no no, I'm not making fun of you! It's just that well I found it kind of amusing seeing you lie… oh never mind the point is, I knew it had something to do with Robin and Poison Ivy. Star did you see them kissing? Is that what's killing you?"

His questions seemed like bombs exploding right in my face, I did not want to answer him and confess my love for our leader. I looked away from him and bit my lip, I had no choice but to do it.

"Yes friend… I did find Robin and Pamela kissing…" I lowered my head in shame and felt as the tears I had been holding in for a while poured out.

I did not look up at him when I heard him get up nor did I pull away when he kneeled beside me and hugged me. Instead I buried my face deep into his neck and continued to cry. Surprisingly I felt the pain in my stomach become smaller and another big weight off of my chest had been lifted. Oh joyous!

"Star look at me."

I sniffled and looked up at friend Beast Boy. His expression was serious and I merely giggled at the thought of seeing friend Raven's expression of finding out that Beast Boy does have a very serious side to him. Heh, probably my whole room would be gone by now…

"I know how it feels to see someone you love with someone else. When Terra left with Slade my heart was destroyed completely but realizing how much Raven means to me helped me forget about her… anyways the point is that I know it hurts but you shouldn't let that make you put your life away. You need to go on and be strong, there are a lot of guys out in the world that would do anything to have a girl like you. Heck if I weren't madly in love with Raven I would go out with you but yeah… he he"

"But I love Robin so much and it is just killing me seeing him like this. I also ask myself when he met this Pamela woman and why they kissed! He did not mention her at all in all the days I have been here in our home."

I was determined to find out if he had a past with her. I must know. Friend Beast Boy did not look surprised or anything he looked sad and I knew what I was going to hear wasn't going to be good.

"Well Star, Robin met Pamela a long time ago when he was with Batman. I guess he must have developed feelings for her when they were fighting her, heck they even kissed! He's the only man that has ever survived Poison Ivy's kiss," He paused to look at my confused expression. "Well she has poison on her lips and when she kisses someone she kills them."

Oh dear! Robin was going to die! That woman poisoned him! I clearly was going to jump up and see if Robin was all right but friend Beast Boy grabbed my hand and continued to talk.

"Now the reason Robin didn't die when she first kissed him was because he put on something plastic to cover his lips so that he wouldn't get poisoned. I guess he is using it again because well you said you found them kissing…"

He should have not of reminded me! The stomach pain returned and I felt the need to call Geuna once more.

"Star please don't waste your time on him, he's being a jerk to you and you don't deserve that. You deserve someone better trust me."

I looked away and wanted to punch my friend right there and tell him what humans scream when they are angry 'screw you and leave me alone' or something like that, I didn't remember.

Why did I have to fall for Robin? Why could I have not fallen for Speedy or even Gurdlesklecch? I should have been thankful to my sister for finding me someone who would not treat me like Robin is doing so.

"Are you ok Star?"

I did not feel like smiling but I still looked at him and just shook my head. I do not understand this, why could I have not just stayed as a Bungorf and not learn this feeling. Surely I could break into jail and free Warp and have him return me to the time of no Robin in my life. Would I really do a crime due to love?

"Star? Earth to Starfire, are you there?"

In me thinking of committing a crime I had not noticed that friend Beast Boy had been moving his hand in front of my face for a while. What was happening to me?

_Love, Pain and Jealousy._

"Yes friend I am here, but please tell me, will it be easy to forget about Robin and find someone else?" I hope that his answer is yes! I do not want him to tell me that it will be hard to find someone else that can make me feel like I am in paradise.

"Well it depends if you're willing to go on. Look at me I didn't want to continue living like that and look who I found, Raven! I'm so glad that I didn't continue to suffer over Terra. Don't worry Star you'll see that Cyborg, Raven and me will be here to help you move on."

I stared into his eyes and found a bit of hope at the end of them. My spirit was lifting once more and I no longer wanted Geuna Goddess of Death to take me. Even though I felt like that I still felt a small pain in my heart, I did not want to stop loving Robin. I was going to continue to love him no matter what, I would not tell friend Beast Boy though.

Surely Robin would notice that Pamela is not for him, that I am the one he needs and we will both be together and we will live how humans say 'happy and ever after' or something like that.

"Well Star let's go and see Raven, I bet she misses you." We both got up and I could not help but think that perhaps Robin and Pamela where there with her.

As friend Beast Boy and I were walking out he stopped and looked up at me. "Does Aqualad have a thing for Raven or does Raven have a thing for Aqualad?"

"Why do you ask me that friend?"

"W-w-well you said I would be heartbroken if I found Raven kissing with someone else and you mentioned Aqualad so I was… well you know wondering if why you mentioned him was because they like each other or something… do they have something?"

I giggled at him and then placed my hands on his shoulders. "Friend! I only mentioned him because he was the only one that I could think of at the moment. I do not think that friend Raven has any feelings for him of course I won't tell you who she has feelings for…"

"What! You know who she likes?"

I laughed a bit and nodded. Of course I do friend! She likes you silly Beast Boy! Except friend Raven said not to tell him so I will not tell him. I noticed that he was about to speak but Cyborg and Robin came into my room, clearly Cyborg had once more unlocked the door.

I felt my heart flutter once more when I saw Robin. I had not seen him for a while and he seemed to have changed. My thoughts got interrupted when he spoke.

"Raven has woken up!"

After that I forgot about everything else in the world and followed my friends towards the Medical Wing.

* * *

**Starry: **Tun tun tun! Raven has woken up! Hooray and thanks to the moon of Tamaran for letting this day come! Anyways I apologize if Beast Boy seemed a bit not himself but hey, we **all** have a serious side in us. Besides I like him being like a brother to Star, it's so awesome.

I want to thank **MintPizzaQueen** for helping me with how I wrote this story, she's a lot of help! Thanks again my friend!

If you have any questions/comments/concerns or whatever put them in your review! Thanks to everyone who reviewed in the previous chapters, without you guys there wouldn't be any stories and such! THANKS


	4. Chapter 4

21 August 2005

**A word from Starry: **Here's the fourth chapter to this story, and I hope you guys like it! If not... well let's just say that my heart would break and I'd be feeling like Starfire. I apologize for my delay but I upgraded my computer and lost my dial-up internet connection. I did not have the internet for quite sometime.

Finally on the 17th of this month, my mum got DSL and I got the internet back! I had to back up _all_ my files and it took time and it took some time to put them all back into my comp. I had a lot of catching up to do so I didn't have time to update, but now that I am done, here I am updating. We only have one more chapter to go so let us all give ourselves a tap on our shoulders for being almost at the end.

I apologize if this chapter is a bit confusing but I purposely made it like that. Reason why: To show you that sometimes love is very confusing. Another reason is to kind of give a bit of mystery to Starfire's decision.

Enought babble and on to the story!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Starfire or any of her friends!

* * *

Finding friend Raven with eyes wide open was one of the most joyous moments in my whole Tamaranian life. I had not felt this happy since the day I met Robin and it looked like this moment was beating the old moment. 

"Raven! Oh wow you're awake! You don't know how much I have- I mean _we_ have missed you. We've missed you so much!" cried friend Beast Boy who I knew was eager to hold her hand and just give her a hug.

I could not help but look at Robin and Pamela who were on the other side of the medical room. My heart felt like one of those things humans call a balloon with no air.

"Wow Rae, you really had us scared right there. We thought you were a goner when you first got shot and you wouldn't respond to my medicines. Thank Robin here for being able to find a person who is very knowledgeable in the field of plants."

I moved my gaze from Robin to Cyborg who was patting Raven's hand. I did not want to smile due to the fact that my heart was not happy but another part of me wanted to smile because my best friend was well! I walked to friend Raven's bed and kneeled down to hold her hand. I smiled at her and said, "Oh friend! I am so glad to see that you have opened your eyes to the world once more."

I wanted to hug her but I knew that my Tamaranian strength mixed with my excitement would probably crush her at this moment, so I refrained myself from doing so. I got up and stepped back to allow Robin and Pamela access to her.

"Raven, I'm so glad to have you back. You don't know how worried we've been, and how much work Pamela has done to get you back to us!" said Robin.

I took interest in the floor and hugged myself as Pamela began to speak.

"This is a miracle! Eucolispha is a poisonous plant that kills instantly, I'm so amazed at how Raven survived this. You are a true fighter Raven." Pamela smiled and placed one of her hands on friend Raven's shoulder.

I noticed that friend Raven smiled and her eyes moved to me. I wanted to smile back but I did not have the strength to do so. My heart was confused at the time, and so was I.

Why was this happening to me? Why could I not just move on and live my life as having Robin as a friend? I could clearly see that Robin and this woman were going to keep on seeing each other because his heart belonged to her, even before I knew him.

Squeezing my arm to come back into focus I turned away from my friends. I did not want them to see me cry. Before anyone could notice I turned around and walked to the window in the medical room. The view was beautiful! For the first time in months I felt the happiness I had felt when I first learned the art of flight.

I do not know why I felt happy at that moment, but it only lasted for a few seconds. Robin was addressing me and I could not ignore him, my friends and Pamela would notice my behavior.

"Yes?" I asked him.

"Raven wants to talk to you, so I guess we'll get out and leave you two to talk. Call us if anything changes alright?"

I nodded and felt my stomach hurting once more. He spoke to me in such a very different tone today, very very different.

After everyone left, I sat on a small chair that was placed beside friend Raven's bed. My friend looked up and smiled at me, a true smile! I felt the want to shed tears of joy! Joy that my friend was well.

"Tell me why you look like your planet has been blown up?" she asked with her normal voice tone. I smiled at this, oh how I had missed that voice!

"What do you mean friend? I do not—"

"Don't lie to me Star, I've known you long enough to know when something is wrong. Besides while I was away, I actually heard the things you told me. So Robin is being a prick eh?"

I do quite agree with friend Raven, Robin has been acting like the male organ.

"Friend, he loves Pamela. I found them kissing and I felt the loss of everything that day. I could not take it! I do not know why I must go through this feeling! I wish Geuna could take me now…"

Friend Raven's expression hardened and her violet eyes turned into a deeper hue.

"Kori Anders, Tamaranian Princess! Don't you ever say that ever again, you understand? Robin is just _one_ guy in a world full of _millions_ of men. You shouldn't say your life is pointless and you wish to die just because he is being an asshole! You are beautiful and if he can't see that, then he clearly has a problem!"

I could not take it any longer, at that instant, I began to cry once more. Friend Raven was correct! What would my Ginorfka say? He would be very disappointed in me for wanting to end my life for a boy!

"I know friend, I apologize but it is that I love him and I can not feel anything else but that morbid feeling." I looked away from her and began fidgeting with the hem of my skirt.

"Starfire, I know it's hard and it's very painful, I know. When Terra was here and she and Beast Boy were all over each other, Azarath! It was killing me inside. I wanted to die every time I'd see them kissing, I wanted to rip them apart and throw her to oblivion. Deep down though, a voice would tell me, 'If you really love him then let him be happy' even if it wasn't with me. I know it's hard but time heals everything."

The sounds around the room had ceased and staring into my friends eyes, I felt a slight change in my heart. I took in a breath and when I let it out once more, I felt it. Sadness was surrounding the decision I had just made with that slight change.

"Thank you friend. I am very appreciative of those kind words you have shared with me. You are like a sister to me and I love you Raven." I got up from the chair and wrapped my arms around her, gently.

I was expecting friend Raven to just sit there emotionless or say something like she always did, but when I felt her arms go around me I knew I was not alone.

"Can you call Beast Boy? I need to talk to him, please?"

Nodding, I smiled at my friend and felt the mixture of both sadness and happiness tug at my heart. My stomach continued to hurt, but not as before.

Before I walked into the common room, I took in a lot of fresh air into my lungs and stepped in. Friend Cyborg was sitting on the couch playing on his game console with friend Beast Boy who immediately jumped off the couch and ran towards me. I searched for Robin and Pamela, but they were not there.

"Friend Raven wishes to speak with you friend Beast Boy." I winked at him and he ran out of the common room in a hurry. I sighed and my expression went into a blank one before walking over to where friend Cyborg was sitting.

"I'm glad to see you here again, Star. It seemed quite, quiet out here the last few months." He chuckled before setting a serious face at my lack of a smile. "Yo, what's wrong? And don't try to lie to me because it won't. My mechanical eye has sensors that can sense when someone is lying…"

"I am all right at the moment friend. There is nothing wrong, I feel a lot better after having spoken with friend Raven. She has made me realize something about your earthly ways in relationships and human behavior. I wish to apologize to you for treating you the way I did before. I was not feeling well, please forgive me?"

I did not want to lose a friendship over something so… foolish?

"Star! You don't have to apologize to me. Look I understand, so don't worry ok? Just give him some time and space and you'll see a change. Trust me." He smiled and at that moment I wished that he would have told me this before having that talk with Raven.

Hearing the doors sliding open, I straightened up and gazed over to them and remained emotionless. Robin's expression showed a very sad one indeed and so did Pamela's. My heart did a happy beat and I felt bad for that. Why was I glad that they were feeling like this?

"So then you're leaving tonight?" Robin asked the poisoned woman.

I did not look away from her as she answered.

"Yes, I have to. Remember, our deal was once Raven was out of her coma I had to return to Arkham. It's written in the release papers and if they find out I stayed more time, they won't cut short my time and we'll be apart much more longer…"

I thanked the moons of Tamaran that the pillows were not making any noise as I was squeezing the life out of them.

Robin sighed and rubbed the side of his head with both hands. I recognized that sign, it was the sign of frustration. I looked away and took interest in my fingernails. How they have grown in my time being here with the titans.

What friend Raven had told me was going through my head. Did time really heal these horrible wounds left behind by love? Was I to learn how to forget Robin and be able to move on and find someone else to love? Could this feeling that I was feeling at the moment go away and leave me be?

Getting up and without telling any word to my teammates, I walked out of the common room and into my room. I did not want to engage into a conversation with them at the moment. Everything was not right, right now. I needed what humans say space. If only I was not feeling like this, then maybe I could fly off to space and really have space!

Going into my room I locked my door and stared at the dent I had made a few weeks earlier. I do not understand why earth materials are so weak. In Tamaran everything is strong! Even hearts.

I took off my clothes and changed into a more comfortable attire, a shirt I had gotten off of friend Raven when I had insisted to do the 'sleep over' ritual. That had not gone well as I had accidentally lit friend Raven's book on fire thinking it was a candle.

Falling into my bed was such a joy at the time! My shoulders were hurting like a Nupin to the head and setting it on my soft bed was pure bliss! Closing my eyes made my thinking more easier so I decided to close them.

When I awoke, my room was dark giving me the knowledge that it was night. Sitting up I looked over to my clock and saw that it was one in the morning. My stomach made that noise when it requires feeding and I groaned.

The hallways are always dark, even during the day so I was not frightened of walking without turning the lights on. I felt better, more at home like this. I smiled, closed my eyes and at the thought of what I had decided, my smile faded.

I was about to begin to think about my decision once more when I noticed someone sitting at the kitchen table alone. I stopped walking and tried to see who it was.

"Who is in the kitchen at this hour?" I asked, trying to hide the fear behind the words.

The lights turned on and at that instant I felt blinded by the sudden rush of light that flooded the room. I expected to get hit or yelled at but after a second, my eyes got accustomed to the light and I saw who it was.

"Robin? Why are you up so late?" I stayed where I was.

His face was set into a very sad one and I felt my stomach begin to hurt for him. Poor thing.

"I didn't mean to wake you up Star. I just can't sleep."

Pushing my decision and everything that had been happening aside, I decided to be the old Starfire once more, and walked over to him and placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Perhaps if you were to drink a nice warm tea, you could finally acquire some sleep?"

Seeing him like this was making me want to hug him and tell him that I was there for him. That I had always been there for him, but he just never really took notice of me the way I wanted him to notice. I wanted to kiss his lips and feel him telling me, with our lips touching, that the decision I was making was either a wrong one or right one. I was about to do that when…

"No, it won't. She's gone Star, the _love_ of my life has left and I won't see her for a long time…"

My lungs felt like one of those cleaning machines sucking out my air and my face felt like if I had just fallen off the tower roof and hit the water with full force.

That's when I realized that the decision I had made, was the right one.

* * *

**Starry: **Yeah, I guess her decision is super clear now right? Hmm we'll see! Robin sure is a confusing young lad. Well in this fic he is -smiles evily- Poor Starfire, -huggles her- don't worry time _does _heal wounds, eventually.

Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers, I don't know what it would be like without you! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter (**Reminder: One more chapter to go!**) and please review!


	5. Chapter 5

21 August 2005

**A word from Starry: **Ok this is the last chapter for this story and I'm updating the same day I updated the fourth chapter. So be happy! I am **not **planning/writing a sequel to this story ok? Ok? Thanks! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Teen Titans!

* * *

Funny thing time is, very amusing. It works in such beautiful ways, slow and beautiful ways. Looks like friend Raven was right when she said that time heals all wounds. Or at least trying to… 

After that night with my small encounter with Robin, everything seemed to have turned into a good turn. Friend Raven came out of the Medical Wing and in a few days she was out and about just like old times. Everyone was not surprised when she and Beast Boy announced that they were a couple. Friend Cyborg said that it was finally time that they have come together. I hugged her and him and suggested in rejoicing with pizza, which we did and Robin congratulated them by giving them one day of a break.

Pamela went back to Arkham and Robin was devastated. The only thing that made him happy was the fact that she got ten years cut from her sentence. I asked Cyborg about them having been five years and he replied with, "Robin went to talk to them…"

My decision was going in a good direction so far and I was content. At first it had been very difficult, but with the help from the moons of Tamaran, I managed to make it work.

Right now we are sitting in the common room watching a movie and it has been a few months after Pamela's departure. No one has spoken of her in front of friend Robin because he gets angry and then locks himself up in his room. This saddens me because that is not the way he would act before.

"Star?"

With all this thinking, I did not notice friend Beast Boy talking to me.

"Star, the movie is over. It's time to go to bed, come one."

I look around and see everyone else making their way to the hallway that lead to our dormitories. I nod and slowly get up, making sure I stretch before beginning the steps towards my chamber.

Everyone says goodnight and friend Raven and Beast Boy walk out together talking about the film we have just watched. I notice friend Cyborg walking over to where the security panel is and he begins to type in the codes and such to keep us safe at night. I see Robin sitting on the couch and shrug before continuing to my destination.

On my way through the dark hallways my mind began drifting off to the distant memories that once made me happy. Memories where Robin would help me when I first came here, where he would hold my hand and smile at me when I stared back at him. I do not know why I ever felt the small insects in my stomach at the thought of that. Perhaps I had been under some kind of spell, the kind that friend Raven has in some of her books.

"Star!"

I turn around and study the person who has just called my name.

"Is there a problem, _friend_?" I asked.

Robin takes a few steps towards me before continuing to speak. "Star, I need to talk to you."

"Have I done any wrong deed?" I asked with curiosity at why he is requesting this.

"No, you haven't done anything wrong. On the contrary, you've been so good to me and I've just been a jerk to you…"

My hands begin to get perspiration and I find that the hallways has become a very small place at the moment.

"Why do you say this?"

"I—Listen Star, I wanted to apologize to you for the way I was when Raven was in a coma. I was just scared of losing a teammate, a friend and I just needed to find someone who could save her."

I just stared at him without saying anything and when he realized I was not going to speak, he continued.

"I was wondering if you—Well if maybe you wanted to go out tomorrow night to get some ice cream, or whatever you wanted…"

The feeling I was trying to locate was not present and I knew it was not going to show up. He was late, very late.

"I am sorry to announce that I can not do that, _friend_—"

"Can you stop calling me that!"

I had not expected him to interrupt me like that with a very angry tone.

"You are my friend are you not?" I asked, my voice rising a bit more to the volume his voice had had.

"Yes but why can't you be like we were before, huh? Why do you always call me 'friend' or 'friend Robin' and not 'Robin' anymore, huh? Why not?" I noticed his gloved hands were into fists at his sides.

I was confused and at the same time surprised at his reaction. Why was he doing this at this time of night? Why did he want me to call him just 'Robin'? I did not see anything wrong with calling him 'friend' or 'friend Robin'.

"_Friend_, I do not—"

"Don't call me that!"

"Why not! Are you not my friend? I do not see any problem in what I call you! Do you wish for me to call you, Lover or perhaps you want what those disgusting girls call their overweight partner, 'baby'?"

My tone held nothing friendly, he was yelling at me for no reason so I did not see anything wrong in yelling back at him.

"You can try calling me by my name you know, Robin? You call Raven by her name and Beast Boy by his and Cyborg the same, but you only call me 'friend' or 'friend Robin'." His tone was now matching mine. "Why can't we just go back to how we were before?"

"BECAUSE I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON. THE OLD STARFIRE HAS DIED AND A NEW ONE HAS BEEN BORN! THE OLD STARFIRE WAS ONE THAT HAD HOPES OF FINDING LOVE IN SOMEONE WHO WAS INTERESTED IN SOMEONE ELSE. THE OLD STARFIRE HURT EASILY AND WAS VERY IGNORANT OF A LOT OF THINGS. THE NEW STARFIRE IS NOT, SHE IS SMARTER AND IS NOT INTERESTED IN THAT PERSON OR FINDING THE LOVE OF THAT PERSON." I took a few breaths before continuing, I needed to calm down. 'You see _Robin_, we can not go back to how we were before because my heart does not beat for you anymore! You are very late friend, very late. My heart has been _poisoned…_"

I felt my heart beating fast and the hall seemed to have gone back to its normal size. I continued staring at him as if I were going to burn right through him, before turning around and walking to my room. I ignored the rest of my friends who had come out of their dormitories to see what the commotion had been about.

Just as I was about to enter the safety of my room, the Titan's alarm went off. Pushing aside the event that had just taken place, I ran to the common room where everyone else was.

"It's a robbery taking place at the docks, we must go now! Titans let's go!" shouted Robin. I figured he was pushing aside the previous event.

Friend Raven teleports herself out of the room and friend Beast Boy changes into a prehistoric bird and grabs friend Cyborg and begins carrying him off towards the docks. I am about to fly off but remember that it is my duty to carry our leader to the battle scene.

I turn towards him and stare at him again. I'm anxious to get to the crime scene and stop those villains.

"Look Star, I can just walk, it's ok—"

I ignore him and immediately pick him up from his shoulders and fly off towards the docks. I try to resist the urge to drop him and to kiss him and tell him I detest him and that I have moved on. He keeps saying that he can walk and that I do not need to take him. This annoys me so I speak up.

"When we joined the team, you said we should not let emotions and feelings between teammates get in the way when we are going to fight crime. Right now, we have a city to save, so let us not talk about it. You are the leader of the team and I intend to listen to what you said way back then."

I felt the want to shed some tears but at our current condition, I could not afford to do so. He had indeed said that in our early days and I intended to follow those orders. I felt satisfied when he did not speak anymore. Upon arriving at the crime, I dropped him off and he began to fight some thieves. I landed and I too began to fight with the masked men.

A man grabbed me from behind and was about to cut my throat, but my Tamaranian strength helped me when I grabbed his hand and pulled him over my head. While I continued to punch and throw the evil men, my mind could not help but wander off to what had happened earlier at the tower.

I know I was not to be thinking of any of it here but I just could not help it. What had been the sudden change in him? Did his dear Pamela and him argue and was I to be his pick up? This thought enraged me and I punched a fat man beside me with all my strength, sending him flying a few feet off towards the water. I did not care, my feelings were all running to my head right now. Thoughts and fighting, do not mix well for me, especially if they are hurtful thoughts like the ones I was having now.

I could not believe him, how could he do that to me? Did he think that just because I was from another planet and did not have that much knowledge on this world that he could just play with me like that?

Am I making a big deal of this? Should I give him another chance and see if my heart will re-open for him?

I continued to think this the remainder of the battle. When we were done with handing the thieves to the police, we all went back to the tower. Robin asked Beast Boy to fly him and I took friend Cyborg home instead. I did not exchange words with any of them. I was tired and not in the mood to converse.

When we arrived the time was **4:45 A.M.** and all I hoped to do was go and lay down in my comfortable bed. After landing friend Cyborg safely down, I said good morning to my friends before walking towards my room. I decided to fly to get there faster and end this dreadful night already.

I stopped in mid air when I saw Robin standing there in front of my door with his arms crossed over his chest. I flew down to the floor and glared at him before taking a few steps towards him.

How dare he block me from my room?

"Can you please excuse me, Robin, I am very tired and wish to just sleep. If you want, I will continue this talk with you tomorrow." I was not in the mood for any talking at this point. I knew that if this kept up, we would be leaderless.

"No."

I clenched my fists and took a step towards him. "I warn you Robin, I am in no mood of conversing at the moment. If you do not wish to be 100 miles from here, I suggest we leave this until tomorrow…"

"Star, don't…"

I ignored friend Raven's request and continued to glare at Robin. Why was he tormenting me like this? Had he not done enough by tormenting by poisoning my heart?

"Starfire, what if I told you that I did all of the things you saw a while ago just to make you jealous? That you are the one I love and that Pamela was just there to help me to win you?"

I was no longer glaring at him and felt as if a cloud had just gone into my mind. Why would he do that to me? No, Robin is not the Robin I thought he was.

"You are not Robin, Robin does not act like this and why would you do that? Why did you not just tell me your feelings? I saw you kiss Pamela and then you were sad when she left and you said to me that the love of your life was gone—"

"I was talking about you! Raven talked to me after you left to your room, she told me about your feelings and everything and I told her what I had been doing and she said it was stupid. She told me that you had made your decision and it was to forget me! That's why I was out that night in the kitchen, because I love you Starfire, I love you."

I quickly turned to look at Raven who looked at me and did not blink nor look away. I felt hurt and betrayed at that instant. Is that why friend Cyborg had said, "_Look I understand, so don't worry ok? Just give him some time and space and you'll see a change. Trust me._" Did he know of the plan as well? Was this even true?

When I looked back at Robin, I almost screamed because he was right in front of me. He lifted his hands and placed them on my shoulders before closing the distance between us and making his lips come in contact with mine.

Coming to my senses I pushed him off and looked at him with disgust. He was too late and there was no chance of him ever being with me… correct?

"I—I—Please…" I could not finish, a bubble formed in my throat and made tears come out of my eyes. I ran to my room pushing Robin and locking the door once it was closed. I threw myself on my bed and cried and cried.

I was confused, my head was going in circles and it was getting even more cloudy. Nothing was clear. Robin had done all that to get me jealous? Why had Raven told him that?

I punched my bed and grabbing a pillow, I decided to do the 'screaming into a pillow for three hours' ritual.

Completing the ritual, I lifted my head from the pillow, turned around and lay there staring at my ceiling. Thoughts of what had happened since the arrival of Poison Ivy kept running through my mind. I remembered when Robin was getting ready to leave, how he had been annoyed at my questions. When they had arrived he was so protective of her and when she visited me in my room how he acted around her. How right at the moment I was visiting Raven they had to kiss outside the room. When they had entered and were discussing about Pamela's departure and Cyborg saying that Robin had talked to the people to give her five more years off.

I closed my eyes and opened them again slowly. I had built a wall around my heart from the talk I had had with Raven that day when she awoke. Now it seemed, that with that kiss, that poisonous kiss the walls were starting to crumble.

I turned to my side and felt an all to familiar feeling creeping back. Had I betrayed myself too when I didn't push Robin off with my Tamaranian strength but with no force at all so he would not get hurt? Did I betray them when I let him kiss me?

I felt tears start to fill my eyes once more making me get angry at myself for being so weak. I wrapped my sheets around my clenched hands and started pulling them around me. My heart was now beating the same beat it had been beating a few months before. How could this happen Geuna?

"Star?"

I moved my gaze towards the door and stared at it, it was him outside the door. Waiting for me. Waiting to see if I have changed my decision. Waiting to know if I will forgive him. Waiting to see if he can hold me and kiss me. Waiting there to continue to fill my heart up with sweet poison…

* * *

**Starry: **So how was the ending? I hope you guys enjoy it and if not, then my heart breaks!

I had the choice of two endings. **1.)** Robin really loving Pamela and Starfire moving on and him benig all rotten 'cause Pam isn't going to be out for a long time. **2.)** This one. I liked this one better, thus I chose it.

I won't be writing a sequel to this so use your pretty imagination ok? **Thanks to all my reviewers and readers out there! I love you guys! Keep up the good work.**

Please review.

- StarryRavenFire


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